can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
