Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Say something about gay babies.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
