Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
