he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
