lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
