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I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The best revenge is premature balding
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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