Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
