My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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