on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
