my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
