I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
id be glad to
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this boner is exhausting
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
