She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
