with your own penis?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
