i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
