bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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