Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
