Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you had me at cake vodka
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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