i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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