Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Too much gin, very little bucket
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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