So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
only if we run a train.
done.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
