I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
