Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
