dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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