I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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