haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
