There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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