Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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