Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
