Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
