If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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