She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
