You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
