Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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