I hate your face
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
