Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
