i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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