My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
