Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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