You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
