If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
