Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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