Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
