Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
