I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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