he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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