She is in my trunk
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
