just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
