i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
