my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
