remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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