you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
